Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
