Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize