so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
