I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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