there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize