the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
