is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I need to align my fucking chakras
I think i got beer on your cat.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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