Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
