I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
false alarm, still single
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
