i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
