I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
