You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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