big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i want to fuck
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it's pretty self explanatory
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
