Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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