I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
