Cold hands, warm shart.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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