If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
