If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
