and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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