Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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