ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
