ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Im part way to drunk.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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