Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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