Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
