it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Randomize
