Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
