Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
