I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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