Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry muffincksdlsh hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(301): View more from Maryland

I'm sorry my penis didn't work

Fav 10 1095 2626
share tweet
(614): View more from Ohio

If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."

Fav 6 2020 819
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"

Fav 120 1308 4519
share tweet
(913): View more from Kansas

Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.

Fav 33 6234 1223
share tweet
(256): View more from Alabama

Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.

Fav 25 21252 1555
share tweet
(541): View more from Oregon

What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?

(503): View more from Oregon

3some

(541): View more from Oregon

You're right, stupid question.

Fav 21 10795 1615
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.

Fav 8 4288 1434
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(915): View more from Texas

He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.

Fav 1 538 743
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(702): View more from Nevada

I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome

Fav 0 18 36
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT