Me too!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize