For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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