chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
This is my gift to your gina
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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