I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
