we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
