Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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