Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Rumble strips road head = magical
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
