u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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