Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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