Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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