I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
