i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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