my being single is dangerous.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
