Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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