Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
