I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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