I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
