Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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