Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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