I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
