She is in my trunk
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
