you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize