She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
