How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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