it's like iHOP with fire
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
