are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
There are leaves in my underwear?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize