ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
His hands were made for my vagina.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I would ride that face into the sunset
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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