i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
