Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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