So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
