i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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