The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
