I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
