We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
