went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
