There is no way he is gay with that hair.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
