Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I am naked and annoyed.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
