I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
