There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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