went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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