I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
