nut hugger
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
