Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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