Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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