i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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