thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
